be wild and crazy...

"Be wild and crazy and drunk with Love,
If you are too careful, Love will not find you".~Rumi♥


I love this quote so much by Rumi



Every once in a while it’s good to get a reminder to be a little wild and crazy. To unleash whatever gets caught up in responsibilities, routines, the roles we take on and we even put our spirit behind bars because that’s safer.
Wild and crazy doesn’t mean being reckless and immature. No, it means allowing ourselves to be exactly who we are, expressing our truth and being free. No worries about future, no dwelling of past, truly experience NOW.
When we live our truth we enhance our creative power, our imagination can begin to dance and we open the door to live in love. I know it sound so cliché but I also know when I live in fear I get moody, tired and I feel separated from other people.


Questions to ponder:


When was the last time you did something wild and crazy?

What is hindering you to do so?

Are you doing something everyday you enjoy?

See what comes up when you ask these questions, don’t make them to complicated, maybe wild and crazy for you simply means going out for dinner rather then cook tonight, driving up the mountains or maybe you want to play really loud music and sing on the tops of your lungs, I love doing that!

The point is to shift and raise the energy from where it is to a higher level and when you do so, enjoy it!!!!

love love


Camilla

this is for you my love…..

….. my little muse, you inspire me to become a better version of myself, you teach me patience, you guided me back to my roots. This journey we just embarked upon will lead us to the next.
 I will do anything I possible can to give you the most life has to offer.  I hope trough my guidance  you will walk through life with respect for women, people from all walks of life, animals, the oceans and our planet. By my actions you will learn, therefor I will do my very best to live my truth, so you can live yours.

 This is for you my love:
 When life get's stagnate there is a whole world out there to explore, don't ever get stuck, don't ever settle. You always have a choice to stir things up, shake it around, do wild, crazy things and follow your heart. Be a rebel, a warrior with a humble heart.
 Don't let anyone ever let you down, fight for your rights and what you believe in and if one person says no, then go to the next.
 Live your dreams, guess what; dreams do come true.
Find your passions and go after them like mad. Always believe in miracles, they keep you connected to your soul. When you have a vision, go after it with clarity, focus, ease and grace.
 Each dot you will experience in your life will guide you to the next. The hardships and rough paths are your greatest teachers and will only challenge you to find strength you didn't know you had.
When you feel pain, know that it will pass and make sure you don't cling onto the suffering.
 Make strong, wise and truthful choices. Choices no one should ever make for you.
 Surround yourself with people who bring out the best of you, inspires you and the ones that don't, let them go, set them free with compassion and love.
 But most of all my love; play, have fun and live now, it will keep your spirit young.
 Enjoy every moment, be grateful. Life is short, you can create anything you want and remember that anything is possible…..I love you so very much.

it truly is a process

Have you ever tried to move your life and fit everything into 6 boxes and two suitcases?
 I started with three, then went to five and ending it with six...

I have red trough my fifty plus journals and let them go, I have gone trough boxes of picture's from age 0-present and laughed, cried and reminiscing.
 I have let it all go and it was scarrie and sad but even more so freeing and liberating!!
Even though I am not one to collect things due to lack of storage, I am chocked how much stuff we think we need. We all do that, maybe one day I will need this so I should to keep it.
Two words I will try to get better not to use, should  and need…. WE don't NEED anything!!! We might want it, but we don't need it.

 I have been pretty  good with handing over clothes to my girl Heather or to Goodwill trough the years but yet last night I filled six trash bags filled with clothes I haven't worn in forever. SIX!!!!
But oh maybe I will wear them one day….. NO, I won't. Someone else will appreciate them more, and maybe they actually  even do NEED them.

My motto is: If I forgot about them, they got to go.

 I allow six boxes max, so I better listen to my heart when I pack.
 I was going to sublet my house just incase of regret, but yesterday I gave my notice. I am letting it go after 15 years living in my beautiful little house.
I have a chance to start all over with everything and I want to do it right.
I want to simplify my life as much as I can and I see how long I can go with very little stuff. And for those of you who knows me, I love nice stuff…..

Just as clothes loose the quality after a few washes and picture's fade in color so does the core of our being, our body, even our cells. We get tired. We need to reset.
We all have had moments when go into autopilot mood, everything needs to happen fast, buy food from the deli at Whole foods, texting instead of calling etc... We slowly loose our creative thinking and then we get fatigue, uninspired, anxious and sometimes even depressed.

I realized after buying 9 dollar bottle pressed juicery instead of making it myself,  I have fallen into auto pilot mode and it's taking me away from my truth. I think having a toddler it might be easy to get there. Right mom's?

SO, I knew I needed to shift direction, stir things up, to reset.
 What is TRULY important I asked, What do I really, really REALLY want? If I look back on my life what will be my regret? And I got the answer. And it was very simple.
 So I decided to be brave and bold and start over. I knew I don't want to look back and remember I was to scared or to attached to shift what is not working.

I have this amazing chance to start fresh and I will not do it half fast, I will do it truly listening to my heart saying, YES you are doing the right thing,  rather then my ego whispering don't do it because change is to difficult.

I'ts beautiful to see most of my furniture going to friends, I love when they pick it up. But I have also had great interaction with strangers who have been buying stuff. One girl texted me a picture of my mirrored glass dresser I wanted SO BADLY to bring with me, even got a quote on shipping fees, but when she texted me the picture and told me how beautifully it fit her bedroom It meant more to me then to cling on to it just because I think I need it.

It's all a process, and that is the greatest lesson in all this. We can't expect to be ok with everything right away, it takes time. We have to allow ourselves to feel whatever we are feeling. But if we are present with it all, reminding ourselves how short and precious life is, we have this one chance, it actually might happen sooner then we think. Love C

saying goodbye to LA.

Here we go,

Starting the process of letting go and saying good bye.

I never thought I would say these words;

 I am leaving LA.

I’ve had a love relationship with LA since I was 18, I arrived by myself, lost, naïve and scared but very determent and anxious to get myself out in the world.

 LA wrapped its arms around me and I fit right in with all the other seekers, dreamers, loners, artists, rebels, outsiders, explorers and adrenaline junkies. It has been a fun ride filled with adventure and freedom.

 LA you helped me find my purpose, passion and love.

 However my dear city of angels, you are to me like an unavailable boyfriend who is too afraid to commit. You are always up to something, and this has been my thrill for the past 22 years. I have loved the uncertainty, not have to settle kind of a life. But I have changed and I want something different. I think I might have become an adult. :-)

You gave me the opportunity to create a beautiful life with a career which taps into my deepest purpose in life, to help people feel better.  Passion (horses) that make my spirit giggle. Finding out that I can wake up every morning being in love, in love with life.

 All this and more. I am so blessed, yes blessed to have been able to spend half of my life with you. I have nothing negative to say about you, and I have been defending you when people start complaining about you. Never understood why people stay in relationships of any kind if they are not happy.

 Anyway, I’m not leaving because I don’t love you anymore; I am leaving because I am now a mom.

 I have changed, and shifted so dramatically inside the past 19 months, I have been on a rollercoaster trying to keep up with all the emotions that arrives with being a mom, Jesper is the love of my life and I want to give him the best I possibly can. It’s time to create two things I have rejected my whole life.

Stability and security. I now crave it since becoming a mom.

In Sweden, Jesper will get to experience the land of fairies and friendly trolls. He get to fish crab from the ocean by the summer house. He will celebrate midsummer and dance the "little froggie dance"
(only the swedes will understand this one) He will be around family which in the end is the main reason why we are moving and for me what has become important.

I arrived here to have my son, this I am certain of. 

We found each other in the most beautiful and magical way which is the testimony how amazing life truly is when you live your heart and spirit and not in fear. We can truly have anything our heart desire.

Through the years living here I have met the most incredible people, some who stayed and some who left, there has been a golden thread created which keeps us connected no matter what.  I so wish I could get to squeeze all of you and say thank you for coming into my life, even if it was just for a second. But that would be impossible. This is why I wanted to write all this, to you and you know who you are.

Ok, my dear friends near and far. That was a lot!

LOVE Camilla

ps, we are leaving November 5th and I will have an estate sale where I will sell off EVERYTHING.
will let you all know date soon. 

thoughts

 In the Buddhist tradition they say; "We are our thoughts, with our thoughts we create the world".

I was 20 years old the first time I walked into a Buddhist Temple and a whole new world opened up. Just a few years later I embarked on a journey of realizing that my thoughts were not at all aligned with who I was or who I wanted to be. They were actually creating chaos inside for no other reason then that was all I knew, because that is what the mind does. It creates patterns based on experience.

Being a perfectionist I had tried really hard for years to create an imaginary past that would fit a little better into the mold of being perfect. I anxiously waited for something in the future that would make me happy now……..
This was my pattern; I dwelled on the past or lived in the future. I really never enjoyed the moment, didn't know what it meant to be present, never less being conscious.
So, with this epiphany, I became immensely aware that my thoughts basically held me hostage,  I became determent to become free.
I began the quest of finding myself, who I was behind the pattern of destructive thinking.
I threw myself into the world of meditation, became obsessed with the discipline of the practice, sat for hours at a time and even dared to join in on a silent retreat for 10 days. Yoga became my life, my body became my teacher. My body  had giving me signals all along I bluntly had ignored.

Later I would merge the Eastern thought, the mythical wisdom with the Western knowledge, the power of mind. My interest in Psychology was the missing piece of the puzzle.

 It's been 25 years and I still search, study and practice, every day. I  have found that we can truly create anything we want in life,  the one thing that  get in our way is our mind.

I have put together this "In Depth Study" based on my own personal journey, we will have 40 hours together to practice, share, discuss, ponder, write, have fun and dive deep into the what else there is.

With love Camilla

                                    For more info:    www.camillabergstrom.com   or   www.yogaroom.se

what could have….

I am driving on Genesse Ave this morning going north.
 I do this every day and every day I miss the green light and sit for the longest minute waiting to cross Sunset blvd.
This is the minute I turn around to scratch Jesper’s head and we both giggle.
 This morning the light is green and usually I might speed up a bit to try to catch it, this morning I slowed down, not really sure why, just had a feeling.
I get closer to Sunset and thinking; I guess I will make it today after all and I continue driving.
The sun is rising from east; it’s beautifully crisp after the rain last night. I had that feeling again.  The next thing I know there is a car  right in front of me running the red light going east on sunset.
 I slam the brakes and my car spins around. He keeps going.
I turn my head watching the car and internally cursing WTF!!  He is then a few inches away from hitting an older woman walking  across sunset from the north side. She is startled. It’s quiet. My heart is beating so fast. Other cars begin honking the horn.
 It was all a matter of a few seconds. For all of us.
 I usually try to avoid my mind going into the” Would have, Could have or Should have’s, since they truly are an illusion. They are past or future.
But this morning, as I pull the car over to go into the back seat and kiss my son and say out loud THANK YOU, I couldn’t help myself from thinking what could have happened. What if I didn’t slow down the car?
What if the pedestrian left her house two seconds earlier.
This morning could have…turned out a lot different for the woman, the driver, my son and I. But the day goes on and my heart got yet again cracked open and my mind reminded how precious life is and how many people aren’t so lucky as we were this morning.
 I can’t help from wondering if the driver is feeling as lucky?  Did he or she even realize what almost happened?
 Was he drunk, texting, being blinded by the sun or simply not paying attention? No matter what, he wasn’t present and definitely not mindful.
I can only wish this was his wakeup call. How close he was possibly destroying peoples and his own life.
 I have been overwhelmed by calmness today. What is there to worry about, stress about, and complain about?  We are here and our day goes on. For many others it doesn’t.
 
Who knows how many moments like this we're not even aware of happening in one day. What is around the corner we just missed, or who? It’s a trip when we think about how things happens in a matter of seconds, life can change from one moment to the next, Few things we are in control over, but the one thing we can control is how we respond.



 I choose to love life a little deeper today.

Love Camilla

The devastation in the Philippines brings me back there, remembering the little faces I got to know when I had the honor to travel with UNICEF 2008 to do work with the street kids. Especially Ella, who you can see in most of the pictures. The UNICEF workers told me not to get attached, it took me about a second.... She was 7, no parents, rotten teeth and she lived under the bridge with her friends, her new family. They stuck together like glue. They helped each other finding food and staying warm at night. Ella wanted me to bring her back with me to the US, she asked me to adopt her. She begged and when she realized I couldn't do it, (trust me I wanted, and probably would if it was possible) she turned her back. She walked away...I cried, I will never forget that moment.
I still have pictures of her framed in my house and I think of her often. I wonder if she is safe, if she found shelter, if she was even alive before this. It brakes my heart thinking about her and all the children who had nothing already, they must have been so scared when the most powerful typhoon in history hit one of the poorest countries in the world.
The work UNICEF do is fantastic, please donate.

moving with life changes

Life is constantly changing and we need to be changing with it, not resisting it.  We are not the same person we were a year ago, a month ago, or even a week ago.  Life's cycle's doesn't stop even if we try to remain the same.  Change is what it’s all about.  Every ending is the beginning of something else.  Every time we exit  another door will open.  Live, learn, and let go.  Don’t hold yourself down with the changes you can’t control.

Although some forces are out of your control, you can control how you respond  to things.  Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects, whether you’re happy or sad.  Let go of what you can’t control, and invest your energy in the things you can.  Live simply, love generously, speak truthfully, breathe deeply, do your best, and leave the rest to the powers above you.

love Camilla

to you mom

Sitting here on my very first mother’s day thinking about you mom and I feel this overwhelming gratitude for you I have never felt before. My respect and appreciation has grown much deeper for you ever since Jesper arrived into my life.

So often we take our mother’s for granted and I am one to admit this I have done.

You taught me freedom, which I think is the most beautiful gift you ever gave me. You allowed me to explore and go after my dreams and so I did. I look back on the pain I felt in my past and I realize it all led me to this very moment. Often we look back and blame our mother’s for our sorrows and so I did. We are both complex women but now I know this lead me to never settle. I wanted it all, I wanted to explore life as fully and crazy I possibly could and you never hindered me doing so. As I look at my little man and how we found each other I cry tears of joy and feel such intense love I have never felt before. My heart is in peace.  I get it now, I really do. Thank you mom for being you, I love you so very much. Happy Mother's day.

millan

Year of Mindfulness

 

New Year is the busiest time for me, people want to begin the year with change, they feel more hopeful and they want to take care of themselves.

I am thrilled this year because I have been asked more about meditation and about how to practice mindfulness then I ever have before. It means people realize that the louder the world is getting the more longing for silence.

When I say the world is loud I talk about TV, Radio, computer, texting, emailing, etc.. It’s all noise for the brain. You can’t even go to the bank without the TV hanging on the wall feeding us with news media. When you walk into stores including Whole foods LOUD music is playing. The mind get’s scattered, distracted, we shop more, we get anxious.

 The mind takes in 1000 bits of information every second. It’s never quite, it’s going and going and we don’t even know how it is affecting us until the body begins to ache with tension, we feel agitated, emotions get’s the best of us and we react a lot quicker, often leaving us with guilt.

 Even when we are not physically doing something the mind is raising thinking about past or future. 

Stress causes the Cortisol in our body to spike to a level that will eventually affect our creative thinking, metabolism, our sleep, blod pressure and can cause all kinds of physical issues.

We get so far away from a balanced mind that we begin to create stories in our head. Stories filled with doubt, fear, judgment etc… Stories that comes from; “What if, should have, could have”.  These are all based on our mind being in future or past.  We spend more time away from the present moment and loose out on living now.

 It’s easier to clean the house,  the car and the closet then is to clean the mind from clutter.

 Every thought follows with an emotion, after the emotion a reaction

Tension will occur your neck, shoulders and lower back and if there is never a moment to relax you are always on high alert it could have devastating effects on the body.

So how do we stop the thinking? We don’t.  It’s not about controlling the mind or shut of our emotions. We can’t stop the thoughts,  they will always be there. But we can observe them and listen to the quality of them. We can work on not letting them send us into a head spin of negativity.

Before we react, we pause, observe, take a breath or two and align mind and body with the circumstance.

 Once we hear our own thoughts and actually listen to them we begin to see and feel the effect they have on us and we can then make a choice to shift the pattern of them.  Trying to understand them rather then pushing them away, making peace with them, know where there is coming from let them come and let them go. This is called mindfulness.

So when we meditate it gives the mind a pause, and brake.

Just like a computer needs space and even rewiring so does the mind.

I like to sit and meditate first thing in the morning, begin the day with a clear and calm mind.

You will find after meditating a sense of clarity; you just gave the mind freedom and space so you can invite new fresh thoughts, more happy and positive. Your body will begin to release the tension.

When we practice mindfulness we bring ourselves to the present moment. We lift the veil that is clouding our mind, we navigate ourselves beyond the ego; the thinking and into our essence.

Most people have a hard time with the thought of doing nothing, but that is the whole point….to BE…

We watch the thought coming and going, we feel the breath rising and falling.

Try to sit for 2 minutes in the morning, breathe and observe. ( yes, you do have 2 minutes )

At the end of the meditation see a vision for what you would like to receive for the day….

When 2 min becomes easy, do 5…then 10 etc…..

Blessings and love

Camilla