Tuesday, April 1, 2014

what could have….

I am driving on Genesse Ave this morning going north.
 I do this every day and every day I miss the green light and sit for the longest minute waiting to cross Sunset blvd.
This is the minute I turn around to scratch Jesper’s head and we both giggle.
 This morning the light is green and usually I might speed up a bit to try to catch it, this morning I slowed down, not really sure why, just had a feeling.
I get closer to Sunset and thinking; I guess I will make it today after all and I continue driving.
The sun is rising from east; it’s beautifully crisp after the rain last night. I had that feeling again.  The next thing I know there is a car  right in front of me running the red light going east on sunset.
 I slam the brakes and my car spins around. He keeps going.
I turn my head watching the car and internally cursing WTF!!  He is then a few inches away from hitting an older woman walking  across sunset from the north side. She is startled. It’s quiet. My heart is beating so fast. Other cars begin honking the horn.
 It was all a matter of a few seconds. For all of us.
 I usually try to avoid my mind going into the” Would have, Could have or Should have’s, since they truly are an illusion. They are past or future.
But this morning, as I pull the car over to go into the back seat and kiss my son and say out loud THANK YOU, I couldn’t help myself from thinking what could have happened. What if I didn’t slow down the car?
What if the pedestrian left her house two seconds earlier.
This morning could have…turned out a lot different for the woman, the driver, my son and I. But the day goes on and my heart got yet again cracked open and my mind reminded how precious life is and how many people aren’t so lucky as we were this morning.
 I can’t help from wondering if the driver is feeling as lucky?  Did he or she even realize what almost happened?
 Was he drunk, texting, being blinded by the sun or simply not paying attention? No matter what, he wasn’t present and definitely not mindful.
I can only wish this was his wakeup call. How close he was possibly destroying peoples and his own life.
 I have been overwhelmed by calmness today. What is there to worry about, stress about, and complain about?  We are here and our day goes on. For many others it doesn’t.
Who knows how many moments like this we're not even aware of happening in one day. What is around the corner we just missed, or who? It’s a trip when we think about how things happens in a matter of seconds, life can change from one moment to the next, Few things we are in control over, but the one thing we can control is how we respond.

 I choose to love life a little deeper today.

Love Camilla

1 comment:

Tara said...

My gosh Camilla, so glad you are both ok, and that you, being the yogi use it for such beautiful reflection.
In love,